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This post contains the previously secret recipe for success when dealing with the important combination of graham crackers and milk.  As an aside, I do not accept any responsibility for any problems following my advice may cause, parentwise, healthwise, or otherwise.

As a result of more than a decade of research, I have come up with the following way to dunk Graham Crackers in milk in order to ensure that the ideal consistency is consistently achieved, while preventing premature breakage.

Please note that deviation from the following steps may produce inadequate results.

  1. Graham Crackers and Milk

    Graham Crackers and Milk

    Select an appropriate glass for your milk.  Make sure you can reasonably hold on to a graham cracker (by the longer way) more than an inch below the rim of the glass.  I prefer glasses that are a little taller than necessary, so that by the end of the dipping process the graham cracker content in the milk is not too strong, nor too diluted.  This also helps balance out the milk’s drop in temperature over the process, creating the ideal drink to finish your snack.

  2. Broken Graham Crackers with Milk

    Broken Graham Crackers

    Pour a glass of milk; make sure it is reasonably close to the brim, close enough that you could directly submerge a graham cracker without overflowing (this depth depends upon the diameter of the glass, but about a centimeter should do).  This is to help ensure that you achieve full immersion over the process of eating half a package of crackers.

  3. Open a fresh package of Graham Crackers (to ensure consistent results).
  4. Holding a Graham Cracker

    Holding a Graham Cracker

    Take out up to 3 crackers.  You may break them into pieces as you like.  Depending upon the scoring of the crackers themselves, I sometimes break all before immersing any, or I may partially break them all and later individually break them as needed.  Please note that it is not strictly necessary to follow the scoring; I usually break crackers into 4 pieces, but I have broken them into as little as 3 or as many as 5 roughly equal pieces with little negative effects to the process.

  5. Immersing Graham Cracker in Milk

    Immersing a Graham Cracker

    Hold the appropriately sized graham cracker piece on either side (as demonstrated).  This is to ensure proper flooding with little or no breakage.

  6. Submerge the cracker in the milk; then count to 3 at a moderate pace (this should correspond to 3-4 seconds).
  7. Remove the cracker from the milk and rotate the cracker approximately 120 degrees, aiming it for your mouth, bottom first. Simultaneously, you should gently, but not slowly, raise it to your mouth.
  8. Consume. If it breaks, you have left it in for too long. The cracker should be pleasantly soft but not soggy.

2 Comments

  1. You are so crazy! But yes… hopefully I’ll see you next weekend!😀

  2. It should be noted that Keebler graham crackers are less porous than most others – I recommend submerging them for 5-6 seconds.


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